The following post is a previous note from facebook. I was looking though my old notes and remembered typing this one up. It's funny, I haven't changed much in three years. I think I'm still like I was then. Some things have been altered but the message is stil the same.
people who are hypocrites.
people who are fake.
people who are judgemental.
if i was meeting you for the first time, and i stuck my hand out to shake yours and said "hi, im samantha elisabeth laurence, im a hyprocrite, fake and very judgemental, not to mention im the most amazing person youll ever meet." how would you respond? what would you say back? how would you introduce yourself to me? the same way? in some ways dont we all of have some these "qualities"? but youre too scared to admit them to people?
i am a christian. and as a christian, im not very proud to say that i am a hypocrite, fake and very judgemental. would you agree? do you think i am these things? or have you been sucked into my act of thinking im not like this? would you be able to stand in front of a large group of people and admit those things to them? could you write in your blog or your notes for hundreds of people to read and tell them the real you? i didnt think i could either. this is until i went to high school. soon after, i realized that there are FAR worse people than myself. which makes me feel a little better, but not MUCH MUCH better.
i am fake. i dont come off as someone who would cheat on a test, or stab someone in the back or even cheat on boyfriends. but ive done all of those things. and some other things that dont need to be mentioned. but does that make me a bad person?
i am conceited. YEP. i said it. i am conceited. i think very very highly of myself. i think i am very beautiful despite minor flaws that make me who i am. i may cover this up by saying "im not conceited, i just have very high self-confidence." but when i introduce myself as "samantha elisabeth laurence, im the most amazing person you will ever meet" i think that goes a little beyond self-confidence. but why should those people's opinion matter to me? isnt God, the only person i should be worrying about? isnt it HIS opinion that TRULY matters in the end? so why do people make such a big deal about what others think about them? so what im a fat kid. i shop at plus size stores. im not a size 4, with blonde hair and blue eyes. that doesnt mean i have to put myself down to make other people happy. there are days where i walk around and think i am queen of the world and NO ONE can rain on my parade. and 9.99 times out of 10 that doesnt happen.
so why do people care what others think? why should the girl who is a fat kid be so popular and have all the friends? i think i know who to ask. its because i have the personality. oh, there i go again thinking highly of myself. i have a personality a lot of girls would die for. i am very easy to get a lot with. i make friends faster than i make money. i have friends who are HOT (alex leatherman) and friends who are not hot. ( no names will be mentioned here). but that doesnt mean i should hate them because they arent hot or pretty. but then if youre walking with those unpretty people, the people around are saying, 'why she is walking with her,' 'she isnt pretty,' 'i wouldnt be caught dead with her.' in todays society, looks are everything. but not to samantha elisabeth laurence.
dont put yourself dont because you arent the most beautiful girl or hottest guy in the world or on campus. youre the one that makes yourself beautiful. and to think i know people who are drop dead gorgeous and they have the ugliest personalities. like i said, i may not be the prettiest girl on campus or the hottest girl in the world, but i can sure bet i have a more awesome personality than them.
This is interesting. I, too, was a "fat kid" for a few years and I was teased, made fun of, ignored, picked last for things, and it got to me BIG TIME! I couldn't handle it (I was in Junior High at the time). After I went through puberty, I outgrew the chubbiness and have been slender ever since. Thank GOD, because I could NOT see any good in myself. I had the WORST opinion of myself and it would eventually have killed me. The REAL problem, now that I read your blog and think about it, was NOT that I was fat, it was that I let being fat change my personality and I was defensive and snotty and mean to people. No WONDER I was treated badly, but I honestly thought it was because I was fat! Thanks for making me think through this!
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