No, no. I've never been married before. And I don't think I will anytime soon after what I've been through the last 3 days.
All through high school, I saw right through people. I knew who my true friends were and I knew who my "fake" friends were. I knew I wasn't going to marry the guys I dated and I knew before we broke up, that we were going to break up. My senior year was full of it's ups and its downs. I had really high ups and really down downs. One of my high ups came when I met this guy online that I had the same interests as me when it came to sports, which was nice because most of my girlfriends didn't "understand" the sport or they just didn't watch it. I mean I knew sports and I loved talking to this person about them.
As the months went on I realized I had some serious feelings for this person. And they got stronger and stronger the more we talked and the more we got to know each other.
Fast forward 4 years to now. All that was wiped off the board this weekend. The last 3 and a half years were like my senior year, its had its really high ups and its really down downs, but what does that matter when you lose the one person you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with? Honestly, I thought I was. Honestly, I knew I wasnt. I wanted things to be perfect so I did everything in my power to. I sacrificed friendships, jobs, school. I did a lot for him and then he has the nerve to make what happened between us MY fault. What's going to happen to us now?
I'm going on a mission trip to Ecuador today. I'm stepping on a plane to find out how poor I really am. The people there are genuine and real. Most of them don't have television or even a phone. No car or possibly any electricity. (Sometimes I wonder how people survived without those things.) What would I do if I didnt have a computer or a cell phone? or even electricity. How would I interact with the rest of the world? Would I have met this person that tore my heart apart like a pinata and let the pieces fall all over the ground?
Next question, who's going to come and pick me up off the ground?
